Thursday, August 02, 2007

Performance Enhancing Drugs

I have been smoking lately. Not cigarettes, I mean that I have been writing a lot in the last couple of days. I have to admit however that it is not all me. I have been aided by performance enhancing drugs. Coffee and Pepsi. I did not want to do it you see, but there was so much pressure to perform that it felt like I had to in order to live up to expectations. It is sad really and I am ashamed of myself, but it is true, I have been doping.

It all started when I was trying to write this book you see. Writing is difficult. It takes a lot of time, concentration, creativity, and patience. I used to be able to do it easier when I was young, but I am getting older and my body does not bounce back as easily as it once did. Besides that I have two young children now and they distract me from my writing. I did not know what to do. There were a lot of people expecting me to finish this book before summer was over and with the deadline closing in; I chose to take coffee and Pepsi.

I know it is wrong, and I know that it is bad for my body, but I decided that the benefits outweighed the risks. What is worse is that I am high right now. I have had three cups of coffee this morning. It is an amazing drug. I have written 5,000 words in only an hour or so. I have blocked out all the whining and fighting of my children in order to do this, and this is all after getting little sleep last night. I could not have done this without the aid of coffee, so I have to say that I have no regrets.

I did what I did because I want to perform for my fans. I want to do whatever I can for them, and if sacrificing my body will accomplish that, then so be it. As I down the last bit of my coffee I ask that you do not judge me, but instead that you understand how hard it is to be me, and understand that what I did, I did for you. Not me or my ego or for fame and fortune, but for my fans. That's right; I am not a selfish self-centered egotistical superstar, but rather a humble servant, slave to pleasing those who love me.

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