Car Wash

It is stiflingly hot in the August sun, but this is when business is best for us. It seems that no one cares to wash their car in the winter as if somehow it was less dirty because of the temperature. As soon as the sun burns hot it apparently illuminates all the winter grime on everyone’s car. I mostly like to dry and do the final cleaning; windows, chrome, mirrors, interior. It is hard work, but I stay busy and some of the people I work with are fun enough. Mostly I stay to myself I guess. I never really fit in well you know. Too odd I guess. I like people though, I just never seem to say or do the right thing. I make people uncomfortable most of the time. Such is my lot.

I like drying the cars because I get to meet the people who drive them. People are funny. I know because I have a lot of time to encounter them. You can learn a lot about someone by studying their car. I see all types.

There are the pretenders. The ones who drive a car they can’t afford, wear clothes that cost too much, and spend money on women they don’t have. Mostly sports cars, domestic or Asian, SUVs domestic, or pick up trucks, lifted or lowered, never factory. I hate them because they are especially anal about their cars. It is as if the cars are the most important symbol of their social status.

“There is a smudge there…some dirt there…can you wipe the rims again?” They are never satisfied. And when I am finished they will more than likely not tip me. Just some stupid remark that betrays their true lack of intelligence like, “keep it real,” or “be cool man.” Repulsive.

Then there are the truly rich folks; the birds as I call them because they fly above everyone else and only land if they need something from us land dwellers. If it is a man he is probably middle aged. Maybe 40 or 45. A woman? She could be younger because she is probably married to the 40 or 45 year old man. She figured out that an older man has a career, assets and stability that the college aged man lacks. She spends her days getting her nails done, working out, and getting her car washed of course. I like these folks, not because they are pleasant, they may very well be horrible people, but because they do not pretend. They are rich and they act like it. Fine with me.

They might be a little picky, but normally their car was not dirty in the first place because it is almost always under a covered parking spot or safely parked in the garage. They drive the true luxury vehicles. BMWs Mercedes, Cadillac, Audi, rarely anything else. They wash it as though it is required maintenance for a car that cost more than I make in a year. They tip well, but say nothing to me as though I am not there at all and leave. Sometimes they are even on the phone as they take their keys and leave not even bothering to inspect my work. They had me a ten and take off, chatting about something simple men like me couldn’t understand. I don’t mind.

The ones I like the most are the family types; the shepherds as I call them. Minivans, SUVs for the seats not the rims. Their cars are more work than most. Cheerios, crackers, cookies, fingerprints on the windows and most likely some smelly socks. Their cars are the ones in most need of cleaning. I enjoy doing it because I almost feel like they deserve it. It always seems like they are the ones working the hardest. Even at the car wash they are working. Telling a kid to put the popcorn from the ground down, chasing a little one down before he runs into the street, soothing a crying baby, it all seems so exhausting. The rest expect me to clean their cars well, these folks are just happy that someone would clean the car, and thankful that they don’t have to do it.

Most of the time they are the ones with the most to complain about when I hand them the keys for a final approval. No doubt there are still some crumbs under the seat or some melted gummy bears in the cup holder, but it looks so much better that they are almost always pleased. They always tip. Not as much as the birds, but then they don’t have as much I figure. They always find time to thank me as they holler at the children, and if their psyche can manage it, a smile. No cell phones, they don’t have time, no rims, they don’t have money, just a car with which they can transport their children to soccer matches or dance practice, Sunday school or preschool. They work the hardest and are the most humble. I want to be like them.

There are others of course that don’t quite fit into these three categories, and plenty of people who don’t ever bring their cars in for a wash, but then I don’t get to see them often. These are the ones I meet the most. The car wash patrons. These are the ones I study, the ones I know well.

Minimum Wage

I decided while I was getting my car washed that it might be interesting to write some short stories based on the experiences of common jobs that are performed everyday but may not get much recognition. I tried to put myself in the shoes of the guy drying my car, and I suspected that if I worked that job I would enjoy studying the people who's cars I worked on. So I started writing from these perspectives. I will post them as I am ready beginning with the car wash story, which I really enjoy and I hope you do too.

Making the World a Better Place

Everyone had already left the office of “Earth First,” an independent environmental action group on this Friday afternoon leaving it disorganized and cluttered. The office was situated with periodic desks littered with mountains of papers and computer equipment. On the walls there were various posters and banners with the slogans that the group was using such as, “Earth First,” “Save the Animals,” “Meat is Murder,” and a large banner that read “Making the World a Better Place.” They were only one of many such groups that are growing in popularity and influence.

Of the dozen or so employees and volunteers only one remained. Richard Green was the branch leader for the last five years and was very proud of all that he had done there. In his mid forties, Richard spent most of his life as an activist. He was not exceptionally well built, nor exceptionally handsome. He compensated for his mediocre appearance by trying to make a difference for what he felt was important. He made it his life goal to protect and advocate for the environment and its animals.

During his tenure as leader he had directed many protests, influence legislature, and battled development. His group was responsible for the protection of wetlands that were threatened by agriculture, halted housing projects which threatened the kangaroo rat, and even caused the city to shut down a manufacturing plant which did not meet environmental standards. Needless to say, Richard’s work was quite satisfying for him. He had the sense that he was truly making a difference and protecting the earth. On this day however, he was in for an encounter that would forever change his perspective.

Richard was in his private office (the only one in the building) watching the news as he reclined in his chair. It had been a long week because the group was conducting routine protests at a local car dealership because of the damage that oil using motors cause to the environment.
The news was reporting on the warmer than normal weather forecast for that weekend and Richard shouted at the TV as the newscasters reported.

“See! See! It is going to be 78 degrees this weekend and the normal is only 73. Why are there still people who won’t accept that we are destroying the planet through global warming?” There was no one there to hear his outburst, or so he thought, but he regularly did so anyways.
As Richard was busy searching for confirmation that his crusade is worthwhile, someone slipped into the office. Not until the person was at the doorway to his left did he notice. When he did he jumped a little in his chair.

The person in his office was an older looking woman but strikingly beautiful. She appeared meek with long grey hair with some strands of black and long flowing robe of a shimmering material that shone like morning dew. She was slender and rather tall but leaned on a long staff that was knotted and gnarled wood. Her gown flowed to the ground and even dragged behind her a few feet. Her face glowed, but her eyes were large and pale. Richard did not know what to say to his uninvited guest so he said what nearly anyone would say.

“Who are you and how did you get in here? Do you need help with something? We are closed, so you should come back another time.” The woman did not respond initially but continued to study Richard as though she was amused by him. Although it was not an intelligent response to her lack of engagement, Richard decided to ask his questions again only louder and slower. “Ma’am, who are you and why are you here? Is there something you need help with? You really should come back Monday when we open,” he suggested. For another moment the women did not respond, but when she did it was not to Richard’s question, but rather with a question of her own, but did so without moving anything but her mouth.

“Why do you believe that I need help?” she asked in a soft voice that sounded more like it belonged to a young woman rather than an old one.
“I’m sorry…what?” he stammered.

“Why do you believe that I need your help Richard?” she repeated.

“How do you know my name? And who are you?”

At last the woman gave in to Richard’s inquiry into her identity. She shifted her weight from her staff and stood upright adding another few inches to her stature and nearly filling the doorway. “I am Mother Nature as many of you call me, though that is not how I am known otherwise.”
Richard burst out into laughter as he leaned back in his cushy chair and held his gut. He laugh was shrill and unpleasant to the ear. As he laughed he prodded further. “That is hilarious. Who put you up to this? Was it the staff? Are they still here? I have to hand it to you; I really thought for a minute that you might be Mother Nature the way you look in that costume. You really should use this again this Halloween. It is perfect.”

The woman remained perfectly still and waited for Richard to calm from his fit of laughter. When he did she proceeded.

“I am Mother Nature, as I said, and I have come here to ask you a few things.”

“It is ok doll, I love it. You can give it up now.” There was no reaction in her face which began to frighten Richard. Deep inside of his heart he wanted to believe her identity so he decided to test her.

“Fine then. I am open to you being Mother Nature, but how can I know you are who you say?”

Annoyed but not surprised by the man’s lack of faith, the woman pointed to a fichus tree in the corner of the office. Without taking her eyes off of Richard the tree began to grow. It grew from a mere three feet to six and sprouted more foliage and branches as it did. Furthermore it was greener than ever. When she dropped her arm the tree ceased growing.
Richard’s jaw hung open as he stared at his fichus. “This is unbelievable. You must be Mother
Nature. I can’t believe it. What an honor. I never thought that there was any real Mother Nature.”

“I assure you I am real.”

“I believe you. I apologize for being short with you. What can I do to help you? Whatever it is I will do it.”

“Again you assume that I need your help. Why is it that you think I need help?”
Richard was unable to answer. He wracked his brain for some sort of response but had none so Mother Nature decided to simplify her question.
“What is it that you do Richard?” she asked.

Stammering again, but gaining some confidence as he proceeded, he answered, “well, ah, I fight for the environment. The earth. The animals. I fight for you.”

“And why do you do this?”

“Well because someone has to do it. I mean, the trees and the animals and the whole planet cannot speak, so I speak for them all.”

“How can you know that you are saying what they would want you to say?”

“Well I guess I cannot know for sure, but we simply try to defend the things that need defending.”

“I see. And you feel as though the earth, the animals, the trees are helpless?”
Richard could see that he was being led, but he did not know to where, so he answered the way in which she predicted, and the way which was true to what he believed. “Well yes. People are cutting down trees all over the world, polluting the air, and destroying habitats for animals. If I don’t do something, then who will?”

“It sounds like you are a real hero Richard.” Richard wanted to enjoy the compliment but he was not a stupid man and could tell that Mother Nature was being condescending. There was an uncomfortable pause before Mother Nature continued her inquisition.
“Is what you are doing good in the long run?”

“Of course it is. I work so that the earth will survive long after I am gone. I am fighting to save the planet. What is wrong with that?”

Mother Nature stepped into Richard’s office a couple steps until she stood close enough to his desk to tower over it. “Do you think I am weak? Do you think me so frail that I can be extinguished by mere mortals?” He voice rose in volume and deepened so that she did not sound so much like a kind woman, but rather an angry queen. “I have more power than you can imagine. You think that you could kill me or my domain?” She pointed to the fichus that she so impressively grew before Richard’s eyes. He looked at it just in time to see it wilt to dust.
“I have the power to decide what lives and what dies. I can wipe humans off the earth if I wanted. Earthquakes, typhoons, floods, blizzards, I control them all. Can men stop them? No they cannot.” Her eyes turned black and Richards clutched the arms of his chair in fear. She laughed a great and full laugh then calmed.

“What can you do for me? Nothing!”

Richard was not satisfied, and since she settled down he gathered the courage to challenge Mother Nature. “But what about global warming? What about endangered species? What about the damage done to rivers and lakes? Do you not need me to help protect those?”
“Do you not get it little man? You are nothing. You think that you are important. Many humans think that they are very important. But in the grand scheme of things you are not. You think that you are the reason the earth is warming? You are not. You cannot even accurately predict the weather, let alone do something about it and yet you think that by driving your cars, and using electricity that you have the power to warm this planet? You are not important enough.
“Do you think that I cannot change it? Did you not hear about the huge blizzards I unleashed in the north? Have you ignored the feet of snow I dumped on entire cities? You think that if it is warm one day that you have proof of global warming, but you are all fools. Do you think that I could not freeze you right here?”

Nature’s eyes turned white and the temperature dropped dramatically. Richard began to shiver and his computer monitor fogged up.

“I am in charge! Not you! Not any mortal!” Just as quickly as it began the temperature returned to normal. Richard no longer had any arguments. He could do nothing but sit in awe of the being in front of him.

“I came here today to warn you. Mankind’s greatest threat is not his destructive capabilities. It is not nuclear weapons, or slash and burn agriculture or carbon dioxide emissions. Mankind’s greatest threat is his own arrogance. The reason why you and others truly admire the earth is because everything fits together. Everything has a purpose. You and others like you fear that you have no purpose so you choose to make yourself important by doing what you feel is right, but in doing so you become arrogant. You feel that you are better than other humans because you believe that they are doing wrong while you do right, and so you feel superior. You corrupt your place by doing so.

“Even the lion does not believe it to be better or more valuable than the gazelle. In fact it values the gazelle because it gives it nourishment. In the same manner then the lion values other lions as it values itself.”

Nature’s voice softened and she again sounded more like a kind gentle woman. She again leaned over on her staff so that she did not appear so intimidating. She continued, “So you should value other people. Do not fight them on my behalf but rather help them. Quit fighting a battle for someone who never asked you to fight and ally with your fellow man. You hurt people with what you do. You think that you are helping me, but I do not need your help. I survived long before you were here and will survive long after. You were not put here to love trees or rivers or lakes, but to love other people.”

Nature paused to let Richard consider her instructions. Rather than argue or counter Nature’s advice he began to sob. He buried his head in his hands and leaned over onto his desk.
“Why does this displease you?” Nature asked. “Is not this command easier than what you have been doing?”

After a minute Richard was able to answer, “I have put everything I have into this crusade. It is my life, my religion. It is everything I have. Without it I do not know what to do.”
“Do as I instructed. Refocus your efforts into helping people rather than battling them. Thought there will always be some you do not like; they are all your brothers and sisters.”
“I don’t know how. I have only known this.”

“You will learn. Think about what I said and you will discover how you can help. I am leaving now, and you will not ever meet me again, but do as I say so that you truly can make a difference.”

Nature turned and wisped out of the office as though she was a breeze. Richard sat in his chair and mused, questioning whether the exchange between he and Nature and actually occurred or whether it was a hallucination. Then he glanced over to his fichus and found it wilted away. He sobbed some more and then slept on his own desk.

When he awoke it was night, but he did not leave the office, instead he decided to remodel it. He remained there all weekend and when the employees arrived Monday they found that they had not arrived to the “Earth First” office, but rather the “People First” one. Richard explained to them that he had a revelation and that the group was going to refocus its attention. Some left, but others stayed and helped Richard launch scores of community projects such as day care centers, libraries, playgrounds, career centers, drug and alcohol rehabilitation centers and others.

Five years to the day Richard met Mother Nature, he was serving soup at a kitchen when an old lady thanked him for all that he was doing, and with a wink of her eye she said that he was “really making the world a better place.” He thanked her and smiled because he truly knew that she was right.

Milestones

I reached a couple milestones in the blogging world. Firstly I now have more than 1000 hits on my blog. Sure it seems low, and well it is low, but you have to start somewhere. If only I could sell a book to each person who visited my blog. Secondly I posted 100 posts. This could have been ackomplished a while ago had I been more devoted to my blog lately, but I have not. Now with three children and more than 200 students I have not found myself even using my computer let alone using it to blog. Still I crawled my way to 100 posts and hope to post another hundred in the next year or so. It has been fun and while other blogs are closed after the initial enjoyment wears off and the tediousness of writing consistently sets in, I will fight through it. I promise. I am also interested in doing some more things with this blog. I do not know what, but I will think of something. I must seriously think about putting the polish to the Sureshot 2 and getting off to publishers. If I can look at a chapter every couple days or so, I can be finished in less than a month. I want to be done by summer so I can spend summer writing something new and trying to find a publisher. Well wish me luck with that.

Parasite

Without a doubt we are the most evil.
Not even snakes, cobras, and such compare.
We are a greater nuisance than a bear.
We are more slimy than a giant eel.
We are not half as cute as baby seals.
A lions’ mane’s far better than our hair.
In some respects a bat is less a scare.
While some are in the street we eat big meals.
We cut down trees for our so-called big needs.
We kill each other for no reason at all.
Do we pause, think t plant a few small seeds?
Do we decide to pay for our fatal
Deeds? We all grow like weeds from gardens, Earth.
We are a thorn in Mother’s side; parasite.

When Chaos Chatches

When a thick dark dank fog
Encircles the valley like a bog
And chokes the radiant sun
Ears straining to hear the gun.

As fears grip the lungs and squeeze
Chaos overcomes the mind with ease
Crippling legs like a black cancer
You’re at a loss for the healing answer.

Your enemies stand right beside you
With hopeful eyes. Each time is a new
Battle that must be bravely won,
Alas one thing is left to be done.

Look not for an ally to help the fight
For it is you who holds all the might
You cannot put forth your best
Until your mind is at rest.

So breathe easy and steady my friend
For soon, very soon, it will end
When the legs suddenly take ill
Your heart can win with shear will.

The Perfect Plan

Happy Easter everyone. I know I have not posted frequently lately, but the good news is that I have been writing. In fact I wrote the script to the Easter program that was performed today at my church Central Community Church here in Fresno. It went well and I was very humbled to have contributed to it. I decided to post it here for you all to read as well. It was challenging to write a script. It was my first attempt and I found it quite different from writing fiction or essays. Anyways, I think it was a good first effort. It is called "the Perfect Plan."


The Perfect Plan


God the ultimate creative being chose to create the world we know. Though it did not appear then as it does not, he in his wisdom planned everything to sustain his creation physically, but also spiritually. The Bible which means “the Word” is the story of God and his creation. The amazing part of it is that God’s plan is perfect and therefore his is the greatest story ever told. This is an attempt to share the story in a visual way and to also understand the story better from God’s perspective. It is my hope that by viewing these events from God’s perspective, we will see God’s unending love for his creation, rebellious people included.

God the Father, Jesus the Son, and the Holy Spirit are seated together. Lights are on them alone, the rest of the stage is dark. God the Father begins:

G: I have decided to create something wonderful. There has been nothing like it before and there will be nothing like it again. It will be completely unique.

S: That is wonderful. What will this creation look like?

God gets up and moves to the edge of the stage between the two screens

F: We will begin by creating by creating light and dark. Light and dark visuals appear on the screen as he explains. We will call the light day and the dark night. Then we will create water and sky, then separate the waters with land. Images show the creation process. Then we will make plants and trees to fill the world with. We will make them of all types.

Jesus moves next to the Father and explains, moving his hands across as though he is imagining all the animals. The Spirit too moves next to God listening intently.

J: I like it Father. I will help you. We should make animals of all sorts then. Animals for the air and different ones for the land and even different ones for the waters. They will all be different and amazing in their own way. This will be our greatest creation yet. There will be nothing else like it. When do we get started?

Jesus and the Spirit begin to walk back as though going off to work.

F: We won’t stop there. We can do even better. We are going to create something to rule over all the beasts and all the land.

Jesus and the Spirit return to God’s sides. Light begins to shine on the garden in the back ground.

S: Good idea, a caretaker creation. Like the angles to manage things in heaven, these creations can manage things on earth. What did you have in mind Father?

F: I have a very special being in mind. We will take dust and make a man. We will make him in our image, and we will place him in the garden we will create to manage it. We will even make him a companion, a woman to help him.

Adam and Eve rise from the garden and appear to tend to the trees.

J: In our image? This is a special creature.

F: Yes but that is not the best part. The best part is he will have free will.

Jesus and the Spirit light up in surprise

S: Free will!?! How are we going to give this creature free will?

F: I will allow him to eat from every tree in the beautiful garden we will make, all except for the tree of knowledge of good and evil. If the man eats from that tree he will die.

S: This man will surely eat from the tree eventually, and then he will die, and what then?

F: He will. Both he and his companion will be deceived. They will eat from the tree and then be expelled from the garden. Sin will enter into their hearts and one day they will die.

Adam and Eve mime the eating of the fruit. God walks towards the two and gestures to them. They appear afraid, then when God points away they flee.

J: Well won’t that ruin everything Father? Won’t that destroy the creation?

The three all turn back to the audience

F: It will certainly change it, but all will work out in the end. I have a plan to help man and bring him back.

S: But Father, once man knows of good and evil, he will do evil, and then we cannot bring him here. He cannot do evil and live among us. What will become of this creation?

F: No he cannot dwell among us while there is sin in his heart, but we will find one who will be faithful. One who will follow my commands. His name will be Abraham because he will be the father of our people. I will establish my covenant with him and through him a great nation will be born, a nation that will follow us.

Abraham appears from the side walking and God stops him while continuing to explain. Abraham drops in worship but God raises him up and shakes his hand to signify the covenant.

J: Even then father, how will we know which of these people belongs to us and which do not? How will they set themselves apart from all the other people?

F: We will establish a covenant of circumcision with Abraham. He and all his children will set themselves apart through this act. It will be their defining characteristic in the flesh, though I much more desire their hearts to be pure.

Abraham continues to kneel near God as he explains to Jesus and the Spirit.

S: How do we know that this Abraham will be faithful? After all he will have free will. How can we trust him?

F: I will test his faith. He will have a son, one he thought he never would have. I will instruct him to sacrifice his son to me. If he, a loving father, can sacrifice his son to me, then he will have proved his devotion. He will pass this test.

Abraham mimes, taking a boy and preparing to sacrifice him

J: Surely father you do not desire for him to actually kill his son.

G: Of course son. I will stay his hand, and provide him with a proper sacrifice, one that will take the place of his son.

As God is speaking he stares at Jesus thinking about his eventual sacrifice

S: That is good Father. This way our people will be set apart. Specially marked as belonging to Abraham’s family. But still, they will have trouble. This fallen world will always entice them. We need something else to help mankind, perhaps I could dwell among them.

F: There will be a time for that my Spirit, but they will not be ready then. No, first they must know the law. We will find a leader from among our people, one called Moses. He will guide our people through hardships with our help. They will be a stubborn people and will require many lessons before they submit themselves to us. I will give this Moses our law, and he will teach it to our people. He will teach them how we desire them to live, holy and righteous.

Moses appears during this scene. God meets him and puts his hand on Moses’ shoulder. Moses walks to the edge of the stage and then leads others onto it (3-4). God stops Moses and hands him the Ten Commandments. Moses receives them bowing and then turns to teach them to the people. We show an image of the Ten Commandments on the screen.

J: Even then Father, the law will only show them what they are doing wrong. It cannot redeem them. They may learn that they are a fallen people, but the law alone will not end their sinning, nor excuse the sins they have already committed. Furthermore, they will not be able to keep the law. It will only condemn them.

F: I know my son, but until they know that they fall short, they will not submit. Man’s greatest stumbling block will be himself. The law will help him to evaluate himself and know that he is lacking. Until they are aware of their sin, they cannot be cleansed.

J: I understand but how do you intend to cleanse them then? They will always want to be like the rest of the people, even our chosen ones. They will want to be like every other nation.

F: I know my son. It is true that they will try to be like the pagans. Our people will enter a land that we will choose for them and they will establish their kingdom there. We will be their king, but that will not please them. We will have to select a king for them so that they can be like the other nations of the world.

S: If we must do this, then we must select one that will be true. It will not be easy. Out people will want the strongest and bravest man. We will need to look at the man’s heart.

A few men line up near the edge of the stage and the Spirit begins to look them over as he speaks. He rejects the first ones.

F: We will find one. His name will be David and he will be a man after our own heart. He will win many battles for our people because he will be humble and true. He will lead our people justly. We will even commission him to draw up plans for a temple do that our people will have a place to worship. It is there that we will dwell on earth. It is there that they can meet us.

The Spirit selects “David” and David steps out from the group. He then leads the men in a “charge” off the stage. He alone remains and bows before God as God hands him “blueprints” for the temple. The other men return. David mimes directing them and then passing them the blueprints. We show an image of the temple on the screen.

J: Father, that too will not do. A temple? They will come to idolize the temple. It will become all about the physical building and less about communing with us. I fear that this too will lead the people away from us. It simply will not do.

F: It is true. The temple is not my ultimate goal for our people. It is nor what I want, but they will not be ready for what I desire from them. The temple is not ideal, but it will prepare them for future plans.

S: It won’t last. Their loyalty, their devotion will fade. Their kings will not be faithful. They will stray. The temple will have to be destroyed. We cannot allow them to worship a building. We also cannot dwell in a place where sacrifices to pagan gods are made. If they are going to worship, it must be from a pure heart.

F: I know, I know, the temple will have to go. Our people will suffer huge defeat. They will be crushed for their sins and their unfaithfulness. Their enemies will enslave them and they will be scattered like sand in the wind. They will feel that we have abandoned them, but we will not. Even then they will be our people and we will be their God.

J: But how then will we ever get them to return? How can they be redeemed?

Pause and God looks painfully at his son

F: There is only one way. (Pause) You must go to them son.

J: I? But why? Is there no other way?

F: There is none.

Pause as Jesus steps away to consider the proposal

J: Very well father, I will do that for them. How will you have me go? As a flashing light? Brilliant and bright? Yes, I could draw them to us that way. Be revealing our glory and magnificence to them, they will surely bow then.

F: No my son. I am not sending you in a flash of light. I do not want them to obey out of fear or amazement, but out of love.

J: Love? But how will we redeem them through love?

F: Through you my son. You will go as an infant, a baby, born of a woman, a descendent of our servant David.

A woman steps onto the stage carrying a baby and rocking it softly, God Jesus and the Spirit watch her half turned

J: A baby? I will leave this heaven to be born of a human woman? That is surprising indeed, truly a humble way to enter the world. The very world I will help to create.

S: But Father, how will he be in human form? We are divine.

F: He will be both fully human, experiencing all of the things humans will experience so that he can know their pain and feel their hurts. But he will also be fully divine and perform miraculous things, casting out demons, healing the sick, and even raising people from the dead.

S: This is a strange plan indeed. Will I play a role as well?

F: Yes my Spirit. You will be with him when he submits himself to cleansing in a river. I want to show the people what I desire of them so when the Son is baptized, you will descend on him so that all of the people will know that such things please me.

Show a picture of the baptism on the screen

J: But what then? Am I to merely live among them as an example?

F: Not at all. You will select some to teach and instruct closely on our ways. You must help them to understand that we have so much more planned for them than they realize. You must help them to change so that they may enter our kingdom.

Some men (3-4) wander out and Jesus gathers them. They sit at his feet and appear to listen to him closely.

S: But will we not have done this already? We will have given them law, a king, a temple, and now the Son is going to live with them. But they will reject us still. They will continue to sin. They will still be unrighteous, dirty as grave clothes, and unable to return to us. What can we do to save them from this fate?

F: The son will have to die.

S,J: What!?!

J: Die! But father why? How? For them?

F: Yes for them. You will be betrayed, slandered, falsely accused, beaten, and eventually murdered.

Images of these acts will flash on the screens

J: Are you sure? Murdered? But what will that accomplish?

F: Through your death the penalty, the debt of their sins can be forgiven.

J: But death? Will they be worth it?

F: They will never be worthy, but we will love them anyways, and I want them to return to us so you must go and fetch them and bring them back to us.

S: Is that the end then? The Son’s death? This is surely a tragic story.

F: But it isn’t. The son will rise from the death resurrected. The people will rejoice and this act will save the people from their own deaths. The Son will live among them for a while longer finishing the lessons he began.

The people come running over to surround Jesus all touching him to make sure he is real, then kneeling near him to listen

J: Yes! It will work! This is a great plan father! Then we will have our creation back, our children.

F: Yes but then it will be our time to draw all of them to us. You will send the men out and instruct them to gather all they find and show them the path to us. The people leave from Jesus, a new person comes walking near Jesus “Saul”. One you will find will be named Saul. He will hate our people and kill them even. You will blind him Son and he will become our apostle to the pagans, the gentiles. He will be a powerful witness, spreading the good news throughout the world, even those outside of Abraham’s family. All will hear of your death and resurrection my son, so they all may enter our kingdom.

Paul goes out and begins bringing people from the audience, perhaps some that have been placed there

S: This plan is perfect. It will surely draw the people to us in love. Love for the son’s sacrifice.

F: Yes and you my Spirit, you will dwell among them as well, even inside of each one that believes in the resurrection of the Son. You will guide them and help them to live pure lives.

The spirit moves among the people who have gathered in the center of the stage

S: I will gladly go, but I still sense that some will not turn to us. Some will reject this plan and live for themselves.

The people in the center disperse around the stage and busy themselves with individual things. At this point there need be an assortment of people representing not only ancient Rome, but also modern day

F: Sadly it is true, but the son will return.

J: A second time? As a baby once more?

F: No. This time you will come in all our glory. You will come this time to gather everyone to us so that all may be judged.

J: I will judge them Father?

F: Yes and because of the sacrifice you will make, an innocent death, you alone will be allowed to judge between the just and the unjust, the believers and the non-believers.

Jesus moves around the stage and all of the people follow him

J: So be it. Then I will judge and separate those who have pure hearts, loving hearts, from those who have selfish and hard hearts.

Jesus casts some of the people there away

S: This is a perfect plan. Once they are judged, all that remain will bow in worship and sing in chorus. The kingdom will be grand. The people who remain kneel to worship. It will take much patience and diligence, but it is perfect all the same. The people will respond to our love for them. Though some may never return to us, many will and the kingdom will flourish.

F: Excellent, the plan is set then, let us begin.

The stage goes dark except for the Father Son and Spirit at the edge of the stage, all the people move off.

J: We are with you Father, let us create this wonderful world so that we may enjoy it.

Jesus and the Spirit wrap an arm around God and God each of them in a picture of the trinity united

On the screen or have a narrator read, or both:

Revelation 22:12-13 Behold I am coming soon! My reward is with me, and I will give to everyone according to what he has done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End.





Written by: Phillip Brunnengraeber

Book For January

Ok so I didn't get around to writing about it for a while, but I read a great book in January... The Screwtape Letters. I loved this book and managed to read it in less than a week without even reading every day. I really couldn't put it down. As I read I was amazed at how well C.S. Lewis understood the temptations and sins of regular people and managed to write about it in a way that was simply gripping. Though I spoke with a few of my friends about this book and a couple of them said that as they tried to read it in high school it was beyond their grasp. I could see how a person who has not battled with sin on a daily basis and struggled to avoid sinning. Furthermore the glimpse into the demon world was very interesting because Lewis did not fall victim to clichés but instead painted a new picture of hell. Instead of the fire and brimstone image many of us have, he described hell as more of a cooperation whose goal is to derail people from a proper Christian walk. A+ in my book, or rather, Lewis'.

All The Right Reasons

Beaming a wide grin at one another as they hold hands in the park.
A wish come true that they found each other through the dark.
Smiling uncontrollably since the day that they promised to forever love and cherish.
Home they sit and bathe in the love that they have for the other.
Sunshine pours in through the windows and soaks the couple embraced.
A friend for life is what the two are and will be forever.
Yellow flowers brighten the kitchen table as they eat their meals together.
Gold rings are a poor symbol of the purity in their hearts.
A dog at their feet as they cuddle on the couch and whisper soft tender words.
Mouths pressed lovingly together now as they will be forever.
They are a couple that got married for all the right reasons.

Writing? Who has time?

Well I missed an entire month. I made not one blog entry for December and to be honest I am not surprised. A lot happened over the last month. I made it through the last couple weeks of the semester. Coached my soccer team to several more losses, moved, had about 50 Christmas celebrations, played a lot of Playstation, saw two movies, and plenty more things that I cannot think of right now. Not included in that list is writing of course. I nearly started writing something but gave up on it after remembering that I now have a PS3 (thanks mom). Oh well, I will get back to it sometime. I have found someone so negative and sarcastic that he is a great critic. He has become my new editor. He doesn't like anything, so this should balance well with all of the praise I get from my writing. Too often I hear "this is great! When is the next one coming out?" I know it is not great, and I don't know when the next one will be out. After initial excitement and enthusiasm I have already hit a wall in my ambitions to be a writer. I am finding it difficult to finish my second novel, and I no longer know when I will get to it. I had hopes to do it over the break, but it was all for not. Maybe that should be part of my New Years resolution. To write seriously and consistently. It will not be easy. Teaching has consumed most of my time, coaching a bit more and family all the rest. When can I write? Summer? Who knows? I am now viewing my initial success in writing as failure. Although most of my despair is due to lack of sales and exposure, I do sometimes doubt my ability to write. Oh well, as we said in the army, "drive on soldier, drive on!" Right now that is all I can do.

New Years Resolution

I resolve to be more disciplined. This applies to my relationships, spiritual life, physical health, and intellectual sharpness. I resolve to not play video games whenever I have free time, or to watch television (we just got cable). I resolve to read a book every month, and to write regularly. I resolve to keep an ongoing journal to reflect and grapple with life. I resolve to finish the Sureshot 2 and to begin another book besides the Sureshot series. I resolve to search in earnest for an agent and new publisher. I resolve to never put anything above my family. I resolve to play with my kids whenever they want to play with me. I resolve to begin running again. I resolve to be the best teacher I can. I resolve to be compassionate and merciful as often as possible. I resolve to never forget that I am flawed and that I must rely on God for everything and that it is because of him and through him that I exist.

Patriarch

Something heartwarming happened the other day that I wanted to record and share so that I did not forget, but also because I think there is something wonderful in this event, though I am not quite sure how to describe it. I will try to explain it without cheapening anything.

We had a small birthday party for my son Elijah who just turned two. It was intended that we were not to make a huge deal about his birthday because he was only turning two, and although made aware that it was his birthday, he himself would have been just as excited had we told him it was anyone else’s birthday. So Brandi invited “only family” to the party in order to keep it small, but she is from a Portuguese family and inevitably if you are throwing a party, and provide good food, there will be nearly 50 people there even with some absent. So we had a small party for my son, who turned two.

I wish to explain also that I love birthdays, especially my own, but other’s as well. I love them because they are at their core a celebration of life. Whenever I pray at a birthday party now, I always thank God for the person whose birthday it is, and for all of us. It is a wonderful opportunity to praise him for the miracle of birth. This day was for Eli, but it was not him alone who I was thankful for that day.

Elijah was busy as we set up for the party as most two-year-olds are. He was excited to be at his Grandma’s house because she has a lot of dogs, a lot of things to play with, and children simply enjoy a change of scenery. A few people arrived on time, and among them was Brandi’s father who brought with him his wife and also Brandi’s grandparents.

My children are blessed enough to have seven of eight great-grandparents still alive, and three of them were at his party. Now grandpa and grandma Tavares are now in their eighties and as people at that age often are, they are a bit slower than they used to be, in fact recently Grandpa has begun to sit in a wheel chair as walking has become too strenuous. So once they arrived, Grandpa was pushed up to the end of one of the tables.

Immediately some people waited on him as some chips with dip were brought out and some lemonade as well. Now up to this point, Elijah had been acting a bit shy. Whenever there are a lot of people coming around, children get a bit shy, but my son overcame his initial reclusivness as soon as food arrived. He sat himself next to Grandpa Tavares and began to snack on chips with him.

I was seated at a table parallel to their’s and sensed that I ought to pay attention to the pair for no other reason than to observe. Both Grandpa and Eli were given a plate with chips and a cup of lemonade. The bowl with dip was moved to their end of the table and they were pleasantly munching away on the salty snack. After making sure that neither needed anything, everyone else went into the house leaving Grandpa and his great-grandson to snack together.

I cannot say that the pair was even aware of me though I made to effort to hide, only to not disturb the scene. It was simple but made me smile to watch the patriarch of the family dine with one of his many children. They both ate some chips with Grandpa coaching Elijah when he got too much dip or some dripped on the table. I smiled as I observed an example of the natural progression of raising a family before me.

Then Elijah, thirsty from the chips, drank all of his lemonade. When he finished he checked his cup to ensure that he had in fact finished, and upon confirming that there was indeed no more drink in his cup he held it up to Grandpa and asked him for more. I nearly stood up worried that because Grandpa was confined to the chair that I would have to get my son some more, but Grandpa proved generous and resourceful. He took Eli’s cup from him and preceded to gingerly poor some from his own cup into the young boy’s. When satisfied that Elijah had enough he gently placed the cup back on the table, Elijah thanked him in the sweet and pure way that children do, and sipped his cup once more.

It was a subtle and perhaps unimportant exchange to most people, but to me it was beautiful. I watched as a man in his eighties, having done so much throughout his life, enjoy a personal moment with his great-grandson. In that instant my mind flashed to Abraham and I was reminded of what is important in life.

When I am old and nearing the return to my father, I do not pray for fame or fortune, but family. That is all I want. Family. It is so much more important than the rest. Fame fades, fortunes are spent, but family grows. Grandpa and Grandma have six children (one has preceded them home), fifteen or so grandchildren, and another seventeen odd great-grandchildren. That is priceless. No one can take away the legacy that they have left because it is not something that can be forgotten or lost; it is living and breathing in the people who look to them as father and mother. That is my ultimate goal. To be Grandpa, sitting at the table and pouring lemonade for my children. Nothing else seems superior in comparison.

Unaffected

Black smoke rises up from a burning fire in the middle of the dense dark forest.
Red flames dance in the night like fierce warriors after a victorious battle.
Green trees tower high into the sky, forever reaching for the heavens.
Yellow leaves fall from branches retiring to the soil after a long years work.
Blue, cold, rushing water runs past nearby in a hurry to get wherever it is going.
Grey clouds float lazily through the air saving their strength for a later engagement.
White snow caps the tall majestic mountains like a hat on the head of a boy.
Our pink lips, embraced now and forever, unaffected.

Ouch!!!

It has been moderately spread around at school that I have a book published. I have been getting used to the varied responses from people. Some people say something like, “that is awesome, wow, amazing,” and others are like, “how many have you sold?” It is frustrating, but I have been making a bit of a game of it. I now like to answer any response with a question. If I get a “oh that is wonderful!” I like to respond, “really? Is it?” It is a bit rude, but helps me to sense whether or not the person is sincere in their enthusiasm. It turns out that most people who are enthusiastic have no intention of ever reading the book. When I get the “how many have you sold?” I now like to answer, “how many do you think?” If they say something really high like “one million,” I point out that I am teaching full time and most understand that had I sold a million copies that I would not be teaching. Mostly people are impressed with a couple hundred which is good because that is how many I have sold.

So something interesting happened recently which stung a little bit. I was in the “lunch room” and some teachers were chatting over a collection of old and bazaar books that someone received from their uncle or something. Many of them were poorly written and or silly. One of the teachers present is an English teacher. She is also a writer and working to publish a book. Though I do not know the details of her efforts to publish and have not read two words of anything she wrote I understand that it has been difficult based on comments from other people. So someone asked why if so many crappy books were published why can’t she get published. A very astute question because a lot of crappy books are published and I suspect that there are a lot of worthwhile authors that cannot get published. Then to my shegrin another teacher reminded everyone that I am published to which she shot back, “well, if you are willing to pay for it, of course you can get published.” OUCH!!! That hurt. Though there was nothing said that is not the truth. In fact I have resigned myself to trying to land a “real” publisher, though I believe that Tate is a “real” publisher that requires “co-investment.” I understand that a small publisher has difficulty competing in a very competitive market while trying to publish all new books from all new authors. No doubt that is very challenging. Still I have been less than pleased with Tate and hope to find another publisher. Keep your fingers crossed and I am glad that said teacher chose to point that fact out to me.

Kids Just Don't Understand

As I believe I explained earlier I reread The Red Badge of Courage in order to teach it to a group of students who are the “Academic Decathlon” team at our High School. I love the book because it is so deep and psychological and because of the amazing description of the battle. The students I taught it to hated it. I could not understand. They said things like, “it is boring,” “nothing happened” “it was confusing.” I told them that it was supposed to be confusing because war is confusing and the main character was confused. That was the whole point, but they missed it. They were complaining about Henry changing his mind all the time, but they did not get that war was confusing thus the main character was confused. It makes perfect sense but not to them. Then I told them about my book and they said that they would like it. I have no doubt that they would. My book is a result of pressures to entertain. It is exciting and fast paced. They would like it.

Therein lies my revelation. Many books are entertaining. That is what sells. Many books that are considered “masterpieces” are not as entertaining. Students and adults alike find them boring. I myself have never understood the likes of Falkner, and Knowls, yet they are considered masters. So here is the issue. Do I want to be popular or good? It seems that one cannot be both. Perhaps there are some who manage it, but I cannot name any. I personally feel that Twain, and Orwell among others manage it, but others would even find them boring. I do not know how to reconcile this, but it disturbs me. I suppose I will have to first go for popular and then hope for masterpiece. Both are probably years off, but I have to start somewhere, and The Sureshot was the start.

Writer Anxiety

I have been dying to write more, but continue to be derailed by teaching and coaching among other things. Still I have been learning some things about writing, and have been able to reflect more on my book and revise the second one. I am still on track to finish editing before the New Year and to begin working on getting it published. I am excited about it, but wish that could do it full time. I imagine being able to make my own “writing” room and write as I feel like it. Of course becoming the “full time” writer means dealing with deadlines and pressure to keep writing. I even worry about what happens if I run out of things to write about. What happens when I write something excellent and then cannot match it again? What happens if my writing becomes stale and predictable? What will I do if I cannot sell any books after years of writing full time?

Oh well. I suppose I don’t have to worry about those things yet since I have not even reached the point where I can write full time, and may not, thus relieving me of my need to answer these questions.

Book Review: The Red Badge of Courage

This book changed me as a reader and a writer when I was in high school. I know it sounds strange but as I was reading this book in 10th grade and we were going over it together in class I knew that it was a great book and some how it made sense to me. It was a break through to actually see the things that the teacher was talking about. It sucks to sit in class and have the teacher explain why Faulkner is such an amazing author, but hate reading his books. That was not the case with this one. I loved it from the first time I read it. I loved the naturalistic writing style that Crane used and the psychological battle that the main character goes through. This book is so much more enjoyable than simply reading about the Civil War. The writing style is amazing, the scenes are vivid and the emotions extreme. The action is different than what some readers are no doubt used to because Crane has a tendency to describe emotions and feelings rather than actual action, but I love that too. It is short enough to read through in an afternoon if you were focused enough and I recommend it. I loved it even more the second time.

Steinbeck my insperation

Back at the end of September my wife and I celebrated our 6th wedding anniversary by getting away from our kids for a few days. We went to the coast (Monterey, CA) and had a great time. Because we are not especially exciting now that we have kids we went to the Steinbeck museum in Salinas. It was totally fun! We got to see a film about him and look at all the cool exhibits they made from his books. It was pretty cool. Excerpts from his work was all over the walls and there was even audio and video from them as well. It was awesome to see the collection of work from such a talented man. I have enjoyed all of the books that I have read from him including: Of Mice and Men, Grapes of Wrath, Cannery Row, Tortilla Flat. I want to read others and my wife recently read East of Eden, and said it was fabulous. I look forward to reading it as well. It can be intimidating to read something that is a masterpiece, but it reminds me how far I need to go before I will “arrive” and perhaps I never will. It also encourages me that until writing Tortilla Flat in his thirties, Steinbeck was relatively unsuccessful as a writer. There is hope. Anyways I have always been inspired by Steinbeck since reading Tortilla Flat in high school and I recommend his work to anyone.

Still busy with no better excuse

I know I have been bad about blogging again, but I simply cannot help it. I am not only teaching now, serving on the deacon’s board, trying to be a loving husband and father, but now I have also added coaching soccer to the list of things that I have to do. It is a blast but it leaves me really busy. I have not had a lot of time to work on my book, but I did manage to finish reading it myself and I was pleased with the way in which the book ended. It needs plenty of spit and polish, but it is going to be good. I have also promised myself that I would rewrite the beginning by the end of November. I hopefully will have time during Thanksgiving break to do a little writing, and I plan on finishing all of the editing before the end of the year so that I can send it out after the new-year. That is my plan anyways. We’ll see how it goes. Besides that enjoy some of the things that I will post over the next couple of days as I try to not look like a completely lame blogger. I also would like to write a couple short stories and have been working on the outline for them so look out for those over the next couple months. Thanks, love you all. Ok well not you, but everyone else.

Book Review: The Saga of the Volsungs

Alright I know I have been bad about getting to my book reviews, but here is one anyways. I read a few of these already months ago but that is the way it is and there is nothing I can do about it now. One of the books was a short albeit interesting book called The Saga of the Volsungs. It is a very old German epic about similar heroes that you might find in Homer’s tales or some other cultures folk lore. It was fun to read. First of all it is very fantastic, dragons and dwarves and such. I wonder if the Romans were dwarves to the Norse? Anyways, it was strange but good, and at one point I thought that I detected a sent of Arthur in the tale. I recommend it if you are into Homer and the like, otherwise stay clear.

Hills and Holes

When I was a child,
I ran about,
Playing in the thick mud,
Reading books every night,
Sleeping so softly,
On clouds so high,
With not a care in mind.

I fell in a deep hole,
Dark and damp,
The monster of puberty,
Dragged me down into its’ depths,
I slaved with my pen and paper,
And wrote unintelligible things,
My head was heavy with thought.

Alas, I climbed out,
And rose high atop a hill,
Now I shout what I might,
Smiling in the warm sun light,
Playing under the bright sky,
I nap ever so happily,
And I capture the words of the heart,
With a mind as clear as life.

Too Much

You say “I love you” still mist I request,
If yours is truly love substantially laid.
Methinks your love so shallow you have made,
If I had dove into your love at last,
My skull would I have cracked in half; so see,
To me is love a special thing, untouched.
I once had loved and found what love could be.
I long to love, have love returned as such.
And I would die to have such love from thee,
So stop, a little more could be, too much.

Bad Blogger

I am sorry I have turned into a bad blogger. I have not been very punctual or consistent blogging lately, but have no real reason why except the one everyone uses, "I am busy." I get tired of saying that however and so I won't anymore. I have not really written anything lately or read anything lately and it is really bothering me. I think that I will read tonight before I go to bed, and set a goal to write something this week. I have about one hundred ideas, but I can't find the time. It is funny that no matter who we are that none of us can ever buy more time. It is the scarcest resource around. Anyways, I watched 300 the movie this weekend, and it was good, very violent, but not as historical as I would have liked, or more importantly, as I suspected it would be, so I was disappointed. My students did not like my critique of the movie they feel is the best of the year, but what do they know? Anyways, I will leave you with a poem that I wrote a long time ago because I have nothing else. Sorry.

Unusual suspects

I have been insanely busy lately, in fact too busy to finish editing my second book. However, I have a fan reading the manuscript and I am interested to see what he thinks. I really want to rewrite the first chapter and send it off to publishers to see what they think, but I don’t want to get ahead of myself. Otherwise I am pleased to say that the Sureshot continues to get reviewed well by people I talk to. If nothing else, it has been awesome to see some of my students read it. I have lent a couple of copies to students who were interested in reading it and the result has been amazing. Every day I see them now they tell me about the parts they read since last I saw them. They are excited about reading! These two young men are not the type to read either. They both admitted that they do not normally like to read, but that they are reading my book at a fast pace. One young man wanted to be allowed to ignore my economics lesson so that he could read in a corner instead. I really wished I could have let him, but it would not have been the responsible teacher thing to do, so I made him put it down and do work with the rest of class. Still I am thrilled that my students are enjoying it. If they love it, perhaps with a little marketing, other kids will love it too. If only I was a good salesman.

Treading Water

I have been teaching now for three weeks and let me tell you that it is not easy. I have been running around like a chicken with its head cut off most of the time. I have two different subjects to teach (world history and economics), and 6 classes of about 40 kids each. It has been tough. I have not drowned yet however, nor have I had a nervous breakdown. I have gotten irritated regularly, but I started drinking to compensate. (Just kidding). Still it has been fun. I have joked around a bit when I get tired, and that helps. The frustration comes from not being totally prepared. I want to have dynamic lessons and to have kids excited about the subject, but to be honest it has not always worked. Sometimes the lessons are boring and kids could not care less about say the Enlightenment. Can I blame them? A bunch of dead frogs and brits who had a bunch of ideas, albeit good ones. Kids like blood and guts, (and poop but I have not found a way to incorporate that one yet). So it has been boring this week. Oh well. Next week I look forward to hitting them with everything I have and I hope that they will respond.

On another note, I keep reading a little of the Sureshot 2 here and there, and I am looking forward to getting to my test readers. I will let you know how that goes.

First Week

I finished my first week of teaching. It was really fun. Of course we didn't have to do much but get to know each other and go over some rules which they are already testing, but it was fun nonetheless. When we start doing work next week no doubt their opinions will change, but for now they love me. I have experienced the same thing that I have run into since writing the Sureshot, and that is that everyone is very impressed that I wrote a book, and no one wants to buy it. Oh well, I guess that is how it goes. I am looking forward to the day when my own family does not even read my books. I am sure it will happen. Sometimes I think that they are just appeasing me anyways by reading the first one. I had one student ask me, "did you sell like a million copies on the first day?" I promptly responded with a little logic, "had I sold a million copies in one day, would I be teaching?" I couldn't help myself. The truth is that I may very well teach if I enjoy it as much as I do now, but the day I sell a million copies is probably far off and so I will just keep teaching for now. I set a goal to write full time (and pay the bills) ten years after completing my first book. That was one year ago, and so I have nine to go. Anyways I will keep everyone updated on how the school year is progressing and when there is news about my writing.

I Actually Like It!!!

I have read more than half of my book and I actually like it. I mean, I knew I was going to like it, but I really like it. I am surprised by how good it is, for a first draft anyways. It starts slow, and I need to rewrite the beginning, but I knew that. I also need to add some detail, but other than that, and some other things, but it is good. Ok it is not good yet, but I can see the potential and I am excited about it. I am dismayed, but beginning to except how much work there still is to do once I finish a draft. It is not ready for acquisition staff to read yet, but it will be. Once I and my wife have read over it, I am going to have three people, who have read the first book read this one and give me advice. There are a few things that I find are difficult for me to see in my own book.

The first thing that is difficult is describing scenes that I can see clearly in my mind. I forget sometimes that I have an image of what things look like and do not always explain a scene effectively. My wife is good at pointing out what these scenes are. She marks what it is she wants to know more about and I gladly elaborate because I already know, I just didn't write it.

The second thing that I have difficulty noticing when I write is when I do not give enough detail about the characters. I know in my mind what they are thinking, feeling, etc. but do not always make that clear to the reader, and since the reader is the most important person, it is good to have someone read it over and tell me where they thought it was lacking.

But overall I think that this will be a good book. The people who enjoyed the first will most likely enjoy the second and that is good enough for me. I will continue writing, and have many, many, many projects to work on. I only hope that I find time to do it before next summer. Wish me luck.

Finished

I finally finished The Sureshot 2 (I am still not saying what I call it). It was tough. Friday I was furiously punching away on my computer as my children ran around fighting with each other, the phone kept ringing and... ok I can't think of another distraction, but I was distracted. Well I got diner ready and then sat down to write the last paragraph. It feels great. This one is longer and I think better. Besides that I have now written two books. Maybe I can be a writer. I must admit that there was doubt. On some days writing seemed so tedious that I wanted to delete the whole thing and give up. I was worried that I wouldn't finish before school started when finishing was going to be even more difficult, but I did. Ah, I feel good. Anyways, I still have a lot of work to do revising it and editing it, but the worst is over. I can't wait to see it in print.

Performance Enhancing Drugs

I have been smoking lately. Not cigarettes, I mean that I have been writing a lot in the last couple of days. I have to admit however that it is not all me. I have been aided by performance enhancing drugs. Coffee and Pepsi. I did not want to do it you see, but there was so much pressure to perform that it felt like I had to in order to live up to expectations. It is sad really and I am ashamed of myself, but it is true, I have been doping.

It all started when I was trying to write this book you see. Writing is difficult. It takes a lot of time, concentration, creativity, and patience. I used to be able to do it easier when I was young, but I am getting older and my body does not bounce back as easily as it once did. Besides that I have two young children now and they distract me from my writing. I did not know what to do. There were a lot of people expecting me to finish this book before summer was over and with the deadline closing in; I chose to take coffee and Pepsi.

I know it is wrong, and I know that it is bad for my body, but I decided that the benefits outweighed the risks. What is worse is that I am high right now. I have had three cups of coffee this morning. It is an amazing drug. I have written 5,000 words in only an hour or so. I have blocked out all the whining and fighting of my children in order to do this, and this is all after getting little sleep last night. I could not have done this without the aid of coffee, so I have to say that I have no regrets.

I did what I did because I want to perform for my fans. I want to do whatever I can for them, and if sacrificing my body will accomplish that, then so be it. As I down the last bit of my coffee I ask that you do not judge me, but instead that you understand how hard it is to be me, and understand that what I did, I did for you. Not me or my ego or for fame and fortune, but for my fans. That's right; I am not a selfish self-centered egotistical superstar, but rather a humble servant, slave to pleasing those who love me.

Words Words Words

I have been moving well on the second installment of the Sureshot lately and hope I can keep it up because I would very much like to have the draft completed by the end of next week (cross your fingers). I have been totally obsessed with how many words it is going to be and have my computer count them nearly every five minutes. I wish I could have a running counter, but instead I have to click my word counter when I want an update. This is nothing new. When I wrote the Sureshot I was even more obsessed with how many words it was because I had no sense of how long my book was going to be. As it was it ended up being a bit shorter than I would have liked. It was just over 70,000 words and was published at 214 pages. This one will end up being a bit longer and is already over 72,000 words (72,681 to be exact), and I still have quite a few more pages to write, let alone all of the words I will add once I revise. I am hoping that this book ends up being around 100,000 words, but that may be pushing it, and I do not know how good that will be considering the length of the first book. See, I told you I was obsessed with word count.

Battle of Oneself

The roads stretch on and on all around,
Dry and hot for miles not a single sound.
Thoughts bounce in the skull with much speed,
Contemplating the most current and basic need.

Don’t halt the inevitable journey for long,
Soon tired ears will fill with lovely song.
Keep treading and the body will always reach,
A place some imagine is as sweet as a peach.

It can be reached when the will is great.
Iron builds strong tall bounding gates.
Open to small paths leading to the beating.
It will beat loud and clear forever needing.

Enter the fortress if you posses the courage.
Only in mastery of fear will you receive suffrage,
From the dark prison, built around us all.
Breath easy, your safe, so stand tall.

Busy

I have not posted in several days, but that is a good sign for anyone hoping to read the second installment of the Sureshot within the next decade. I keep saying it, but I really am nearly finished. I have been working, some times tediously, but inching my way through the end of the book. It needs a bit of revision, but I believe that it will be better than the first. I am going to explore some publishing options if my publisher balks at putting it out, and I am excited about that. Other wise I have been doing the usual busy father/husband things. Taking kids to places, picking up toys, and looking for a new house. All of these things have slowed my progress, but I still believe I will have a draft completed within the next two weeks. I will then begin reading it to find out what the heck I actually wrote, and then probably changing a significant amount. I am also interested in having a few people who read the first book read this one to get their opinions before sending it to any publishers. Since I have small, ok very small, but loyal group of fans, I thought it might be very helpful for them to read it, just to get another point of view. Anyways, I am going to try to finish the chapter I am on so I need to get to it. It sounds like both kids are awake now, so I am not sure how that will work, but I got a new CD to listen to so I hope that will help me focus on my task. Wish me luck.

Writing is hard

I was doing so well. Really I was. I wrote about 20,000 words in a couple of weeks and I thought that I was going to be finished with Sureshot 2 by the end of July. While there is still an outside chance of that happening, it is not looking good. I lost my steam. I do not know where it went, but I think that the vacation on the coast did not help. I was in the "zone" before we went for the weekend, and when I returned the zone had faded. I am having trouble finding it again, and writing has been grueling. I wish it came easy all the time, but right now I seem to find anything else to do but write. For instance, I should be writing instead of blogging (which is writing of course, but not the same). Tonight I vow to get unstuck. I think I know how to do it. All I do is write no matter how painful until I get in the flow again. It is a bit like running, if you will entertain an analogy for a moment. You never want to start, and when you do it seems painful at first, but then your muscles loosen up and your blood starts to flow and you begin to enjoy yourself. Ok, maybe not everyone feels the same about running, but you get the point. I am going to sit here and type until the words start to flow again. No doubt I will have to rewrite the pages I produce while I am dreading it, but that is part of the process. Ok no more delays. I am off....

Book Review: Pig Island

Before writing my review, I would like to point out that I do not read thriller novels even though they are so popular currently. This is not for any real reason except that I have not found the time really. So I had few expectations when I read this book.

It begins very well. The author, Mo Hayder, draws readers in right away with action and mystery. The premise was exciting: there is a mysterious cult on an island and a journalist is going out to interview them. He has a history with their leader, and wants to find him. However,I was very interested from the beginning. I was immediately disappointed with the lack of character development, especially with the main character, Joe. Descriptions and details were good as was the dialogue, but there was something missing. I wanted to know more about Joe, but I was left wanting.

In the first part of the book all of the cult members are killed and Joe “saves” the daughter of the man responsible who has a deformity, a tail. This is what most of the controversy surrounded. Some people thought that she was a demon or something that Malachi, the groups founder had summoned. The author even uses the term biform, and has some of the people calling Malachi’s creature Pan or Satan, but does not go into this idea at all. It is sort of added to give the illusion of religious significance, but she does not support the use of the words and terms with any information. She also uses Bible versus but they seem to be out of place. At one point she used the story of Jesus healing a man named Legion because of all the demons in him. It seemed to fit given that they were on pig island, but the author decided to have Malachi stick the heads of the pigs on sticks, but never said why and skirted the issue by adding “I’m not sure even he (Malachi) knew.” I was not excited about that omission. It seemed she used it just because it would be exciting and scary, but it came off as lazy.

There was an attempt to develop an interesting character in Joe’s wife Lex. She came with him to Scotland, and their marriage is not going well, and she is seemingly in love with a doctor that she previously worked for. This is great. I thought that the author had solved the problem of having weak characters by creating Lex, but then…she killed Lex. I was mad at this point. The only interesting character and she was dead. Hayder had a girl with a tail, and tried to build some sort of interesting character out of that (which is already pretty interesting) but the tail girl turns out to be a tart, and totally loses her appeal to me.

The book started off well, and lost its momentum early and in my mind never regained it. The last 300 plus pages of the book were mostly the suspense of “where is Malachi? He is haunting me! I am scared of him!” It was not enough to carry the book. And then in the last fifty pages the book twists, turns and then ends. I was disappointed. Especially since I saw it coming. It was all too obvious. I won’t spoil it for anyone, but you will see it coming too I suspect. If not then maybe you will love it, but to me I had to wait through a lot of pages that were suddenly talking about bestiality and strange sexual perversions just to get to the twist. Anticlimactic if you ask me.

Anyways, I would not recommend this book. I repeat that I have not read much in the genre, but I suspect that there are better writers with better characters, and more consistent writing from beginning to the end.

Vacation Reflection

Ok, so I learned a few things after the few days at the beach. One is that it is really hard to get work done. I did not write a single word on anything, let alone work on my manuscript. I knew this already as I elaborated in my previous post, but it was reinforced this weekend. It turns out that even as we left on Saturday, I was sick. I spent all of Saturday, Sunday, and most of Monday near a toilette, and finally I recovered enough to enjoy myself a bit by Monday night.

The second this is that there is not much to do at the beach. Pretty much the beach is it. Since I do not like the beach all that much (it's the sand) I have little to do there. My children are also a bit young to spend much time on the beach all at once so we went down in the morning and then in the afternoon. It is nice, but I am not much of a beach fan. I prefer mountains and hiking and such.

Thirdly, I want to retract my previous statement about people reading on vacation. I picked up a book while I was there (one that people leave for others to enjoy) and read through it in a couple of days. It was very relaxing. I suspect that people read while they are on vacation because we often do not get a lot of time during their busy lives to just sit and read all day. It was great. I read a 500 page book in two days! How often does that happen? Not very. So I now advocate for reading while on vacation because it is very relaxing, and I might add, a bit more stimulating than watching cable.

This is the final thing I learned: there is nothing worthwhile on TV. We do not have cable at home, because it is costly, and we are not TV advocates, but in the house we were staying in there was cable. So like a couple of starved castaways, we ate it up the moment we got there. The kids watched cartoons, my wife watched the home and garden channel, and I watched ESPN. It was great. For a couple of days. Then it was boring. And it was so hard to find something interesting to watch. I think that there are so many channels now that they cannot possibly all have something interesting on, so they have their one or two shows that are good to get people watching and the rest of the time they hope that what they have on will be interesting enough to get people who do not want to do anything but sit on the couch something to stare at while they waste their time. I was not impressed, and will not be getting cable any time soon. With that I will say that if nothing else the trip was restful even though I was sick for most of it, and I am glad to be back in Fresno where it is hot and miserable, yet still home.

Weekend Retreat

We are going away for the weekend and I am going to take my computer and writing notes with me in case I am motivated to write while I am there. I know that there are a lot of writers who like to go somewhere else to write, but I have not yet understood that. Maybe I will this weekend. Whenever I go somewhere interesting or beautiful I want to enjoy it, not write. I write best when I have nothing else to do, or when there is something I am supposed to do that I don't want to do. It is complicated, I know. I never understood why people go all the way to Hawaii just to sit around and read. Speaking of reading I saw something interesting Wednesday night. I went to the movies with my dad and a friend of mine late to watch Pirates 3. I had already seen it and since it is so long I got up to go to the bathroom. While I was returning I noticed a couple sitting on a bench in the theater lobby. They were both reading. I asked the man if they were waiting for their kids or something and he told me that they were. Their kids were in the movies while the parents sat outside and read. I thought it was really funny. Anyways, I have a lot more things to talk about because I just finished my yard work (that is when I get a lot of ideas) but it will have to wait until next week.

Somehow Surviving

Water runs swiftly through a deep forest,
Like hot blood through my veins.
Grass soft and green tickles my skin,
Easing my nagging pains.
Falling without hope of regaining control,
Only with an outstretched hand have I a chance.
Colorful fragments of consciousness stream,
Before my eyes as a majestic dance.
Dreams engulf my mind drowning,
What little sanity remained.
Crying softly in the deep night,
Longing for a stability to be maintained.
Loving the state of companionship,
I strive for every day.
Hating the mess it leaves me in,
And the price I must pay.
Living regardless of obstruction,
Surviving the game of predator and prey.

Change of Clothes

A woman of stature enters
Tall and elegant she glides
What is it though, at the center?
Her beautiful, sparkling dress hides
The black ugliness is on the inside.

No one can see through her style
She is a glimmering example of perfection
An illness has infected her for awhile
Still her clothes make her look like a confection
I appall her brilliant deception.

Update on the Sureshot

A few things have happened with the Sureshot lately. The first and most important is that I contacted my publisher Tate and once again raised the issue of there being errors in the book. I had already gone through and noted all of them so that they could be fixed, but I continued to get copies with errors. They are all very nice at Tate however, and appeared to have addressed the issue once and for all. The second thing is that it continues to get reviewed well by people who read it. I think that I have finally accepted that it is fairly well written, and if not that, at least it is entertaining. There is one issue that has come up with a couple of readers, and that is the issue of names. Some people were a bit overwhelmed by some of the names that I made up for the book. Some asked me to tone the names down for the second. I considered it, and reviewed some of the more common fantasy books, and found that in all of them there are difficult names. It seems that names come with the territory. And why not? After all, I have made up a whole world, with different languages and cultures. Why then would there not be foreign sounding names? I think that it is more authentic. In fact I have gone to great pains in name creating in order to make it authentic, and I am not going to abandon that for a more reader friendly naming system. Is everyone supposed to have an American name? That would be silly. No, they will have names based on what I developed to be individual cultures and language types. Sorry, I won't budge on this one. In other areas I am interested in advice, but for now I have made a decision on names.

Unblocked

I have started writing consistently again. If fact I have been writing since last week, I just have been so busy doing it that I did not get around to blogging about it. I was quite relieved actually because I really looked forward to finishing the Sureshot 2, and wanted to do so before I began teaching in August, but the first week of vacation did not go so well. I almost ruined any chance I had of writing by buying a couple of video games for my Playstation, but it seems that my video game addiction was broken by months of intense studying without the joy of Playstation. I played for a couple of days, but went right back to writing, and have written nearly every day for the past week. I am almost finished with the first draft, which is the most challenging part for me. Reviewing and rewriting is not as difficult for me once I get the story from beginning to end. The end is great by the way. I nearly wrote it out as I was outlining. I know writers and actors always say that the sequel is better than the first (which is usually a lie), but this one really is going to be better. I can't wait to finish it, and I hope others can't wait to read it.

Writer's Block

Ok so I was really excited about writing again, so I sat down at my computer the other day to get started and I didn't know what to write. It seems that after so many months of a story sitting on the shelf that I forgot what I was going to write. I have an idea, but I don't know for sure. So I decided to go back and read what I wrote already. This has helped, but I am still not sure. I didn't write any notes on it the last time I wrote, but I have note for what to write afterwards. Maybe I should just skip over the chapter I am on and write the ones after it. I don't know. I hope I figure it out soon. Besides that I am very happy that it is summer. I really felt like it was vacation yesterday because I finished writing my final assignment. I have an exit interview on Friday, but I am not worried about that. Wait, I think I just figured out what to write...gotta go.

Educational Philosophy

As part of a class I had to write my educational philosophy. This is one of the last things that I had to write for a class. I am still not done, but I am anxious to be so that I can finish the Sureshot 2. I am on chapter 13, and cannot wait any longer to finish it. Anyways this is part of the essay that I wrote about my educational philosophy.

Learning is a very human activity, as is teaching. Parker Palmer wrote that we “teach who we are.” One could say that we also learn in a way that reflects who we are. This makes developing a standard methodology or philosophy to cover all teachers and all students challenging. Many people now deride the standard lecture model of instruction, yet at some level it can be effective for both teacher and learner. Project methods of instruction are effective for many students, but perhaps not all of them. For every student who excels under one school of thought, there is probably another who could do better if instructed in another fashion. In light of this my own educational philosophy is exactly that; my own. I cannot claim that the things I value in education are any better than what someone else might value, I can only say that they reflect me. I suspect that this is the just thing to do. As Socrates learned and Shakespeare echoed, the most important thing in life is “to thine own self be true.” With that in mind, I believe that learning is social, individual, and continuous.

Learning is social
Learning is, in my observation, best when done socially. I do not mean to say that people cannot learn alone, but rather that it can be enhanced through social contact. I am reminded of how many of the most astounding scientific discoveries were accomplished not by a single man working alone, but by a group of people working together to solve problems. One example that stands out is the Manhattan project. While Einstein may have provided the spark that led to nuclear capabilities, it was a whole team of physicists, engineers and others all working together to develop the atomic bomb. Often times writers will collaborate with other authors, and have editors to read and make suggestions before a book is published. I envision Socrates sitting around in Athens and the cohort that followed him around always challenging each other. Proverbs says “as iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” I embrace that teaching with both arms. I know in my own life that I have always found learning most efficient and meaningful when there are other people to assist you.

I expect that learning is social because everyone brings with them individual experiences and perspectives. This allows a person to see something from a point of view that is different than their own. Most things look different depending on the angle you view them. For instance a house looks different from one side or another, or from above. We can only see one angle most of the time, so it is better to confer with people who have seen things from different angles. This is the advantage of social learning, and why I believe that learning is best when done socially.

Leaning is individual
Another important aspect of learning in my mind is that it is individual. I do not mean that it is done alone, thereby contradicting my previous statement, but rather that it reflects a persons previous experiences and learning. This is because, as I asserted in the previous argument, that everyone brings with them different experiences and perspectives into the classroom. This breaks down into a few different characteristics.

First of all we all, as I stated before, bring different experiences to the classroom. These differences are developed through race, religion, culture, environment, family, and a number of other factors that shape who we are. We cannot put these things aside easily, but instead carry them with us wherever we go. Even within the same country, state, and even city, there is a variety of experiences that cause people to assimilate information differently. Secondly, everyone learns at different rates and in different manners. One person may learn very well by simply reading something and discussing it for further understanding, while another person may need to hear something explained, while a third may need to experience it in a more hands on way. These differences are often referred to as learning modalities, and while most people can learn through all of them, there is normally one or two that are stronger in us.

Individualized learning in the classroom looks like this: the teacher gives a reading assignment to the class. They are supposed to read The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck. They read a few chapters at a time and discuss them in class while sometimes doing something hands on with relation to what they read. All of the students read the text and interact with it in an individual way. One student may relate to the suffering of the Joad family, while another may relate to the young woman Roseofsharon because she is young and pregnant. Still another may favor the social injustice of the Great Depression. All of these students react differently to the same text. I submit that there is no right way to respond to the text as long as students understand the plot and can sense the point that Steinbeck is making.

When the students discuss they can share their myriad of opinions about the book. This discussion will help those students who learn better through audio input. When they do assignments or projects related to the book they will all have individualized products, and this portion of the learning process will help the students who learn better through physical activity. All of the students learn something from the book, and may all learn similar things, but the book will not affect them all in the same way. Also, the students cement their understanding through different experiences whether they are physical, audio, or visual. As a final point I would like to underline that this individualized learning is taking place in a social setting, which was my first point. It is through sharing our learning and understanding that we truly can maximize our learning.

Learning is continuous
A final principle of learning is that it is continuous. We are learning all of the time, and always find new things to learn about. While it may sound very abstract, I believe that knowledge is infinite. No one person can know everything there is to know in the world. We may know a lot, and sometimes people like to suggest that we know more now than ever before, but even that is not necessarily true. Sure we know how to send emails, and drive a car, and microwave popcorn which are things people 500 years ago did not know, but then I don’t know how to churn butter, bake bread, clean a fish, or build a house. I suspect there are people who do, just not me. The point is that there is a lot of information that we do not know.

One of my goals as a teacher is to create students who will be lifelong learners. We all learn things passively, like who the Oakland Raiders drafted, or who is running for president in 08, but I want to create active learners, who will pursue things they are curious about. I want my students to go out and study something until they understand it. To ask questions until they get answers, and to seek knowledge until the find it. If we stop learning actively we will have no more to share with other people than we have right now. We will have no more understanding of the world around us than we have today. While for a few people who understand a great deal this might be acceptable, for the majority of us, there is still quite a few things that would do us well to understand. For that matter then, we need to continue learning for our entire lives, and not simply passive learning, but actively acquiring knowledge and understanding.

Senator

This is an interesting poem because I wrote it as a high school student ten years ago. It is strange to read my poems from then. They are not masterful by any stretch of the imagination, but there is an interesting theme in them. I don't know why I had contempt for senators then, but it came through in this poem.

A child so beautiful and young,
Her life long journey had just begun.
A man with debts he cannot pay,
No longer can he keep the jealous rage at bay.
The lamb, sacrificed at his bloody hands.
Monster.

Knocked down over and over by the world,
Brain fried like eggs and blood curdled.
Strolled into a low cost burger grill,
As if he did it every day, no hesitation to kill.
Laying down people like a stack of split logs.
Demon.

A failed marriage and a terrible father,
Spending money, like a horse eating fodder.
Caught in a sticky web of deceit and lies,
He turns to the influential help of his ties.
Your only lying to your pathetic self.
Senator.

Forecast

Clouds cover the sun so bright
Shutting out the rays of its might
Bringing rain for the world below
When the time is right it might even snow
And below turmoil reigns supreme
Battling the evils of the storm so mean
Too little avail people continue in struggle
No ground does not carry a puddle
In this time so hopeless and dreary
Tomorrow the sun will wake up and shine.

Falling Stars

I gaze longingly above,
Towards the vast stars; I love,
To hold, the hand of such is bliss;
In losing that feeling, I would miss
My soul, falls lifelessly,
As driftwood, floating aimlessly.

Just once would I like,
For a star to take flight,
And fall from the majestic sky,
And behold it to mine eye.
Fall to my world bright star,
I can see you, not so far.

Writing Again

Finally the school year is almost over and today is the day that I begin writing what I want to write for once. I have a lot of blogging to catch up on too. I must have read another dozen books or so this spring so I will try to get around to reviewing them on this site. I also have written a few things that I will try to blog. Besides that I am interested in any advice for the Sureshot 2. I have a title for it already but for now I am calling it Sureshot 2. Anyways, I hope you all enjoy what I have to offer. Here is another poem for you all until I get something more substantial going.